The Myth of the Sociable Estate Agent

21 June 2022

I have been thinking about the misconception that you have to be sociable to be an estate agent. I am slightly autie, and I don’t enjoy socialising at all. Nobody would ever call me sociable. I kind of want to be around people, but group situations are too hard to cope with, and I avoid them. I used to like going to a disco – I could just dance – but socialising in a bar would be a nightmare! In a group, I feel like an awkward, panicked gooseberry. I’m either the one in the kitchen at parties, or the one in the corner on her phone.

I have been self employed almost my whole life (I’m 61). If I applied for a job in a corporate estate agent today, I doubt I would get it. I generally flunk interviews even though I could do the job standing on my head. I struggle to process the new information coming at me in a pressured situation, and worry about what is required of me, what they want me to say, and how to present myself. (This started when I was young and failed a group interview for McDonald’s!) I can’t be a lower ranking sheep or a cog at work – I wouldn’t be a malleable employee. If I saw injustice, malpractice, or a better way to do something, I would feel compelled to call it out. I am not seen as a team player. Nor would I be a natural manager. I would find it stressful to handle responsibility to multiple stakeholders, and deal with the dynamics of a group of team members.

But… I’m a great estate agent (or so my husband and clients tell me!)

Being autie makes me quite an avid people watcher, hyper analytical in my relationships, and a good psycholgist (I have a degree in Social Psychology too). I have also learned over the years that underneath the autie reactions I am weirdly gregarious – I will talk to anyone one to one in a queue at the checkout, or one to one in a work situation, provided that I am confident in my subject and know my worth. I get intensely involved in anything I do. And I’m intelligent and love to learn. And I’m honest – sometimes brutally so! You might say that I have a faulty filter, but I prefer to think of it as an asset – it’s neurotypicals who have the faulty gene!

These skills are perfect for estate agency. I am not trying to build a friendship or a long term relationship, just an intense, short, honest, open, and supportive relationship with one or two people.

Almost my whole life I’ve assumed that people don’t like me. But I was looking in the wrong places for validation. Now, thanks to estate agency, I feel so much more confident. I describe myself as quirky and I am working on a dress style to match that. I am often open with clients about being autie, so people don’t misread my lack of eye contact or my occasional abrupt/misplaced remark. Clients appreciate my honesty (I find it almost impossible to lie or hold back on my thoughts).

Anyway – I hope that hearing my story is helpful if you are in a position where the labels you (or others) have applied to yourself are not serving you.